Results...

That sneaky vertebra had slipped back out. The Chiro gave me a bunch of adjustments, exercises, and appointments for this week.

Back to Square One

Something has gone horribly wrong this weekend with the spine. I have an appointment tomorrow morning with a Chiropractor, and I will post the results here.

I should switch from ashtangi.net to vertebralsubluxation.net! But please don't make me :)

Heppy Bday!

Happy Birthday to You
Happy Birthday to You
Happy Birthday dearest Guruji
Happy Birthday to You

Trucking Along

I have practiced every morning since last Sunday, and boy what a difference a week makes. M is building me up slowly, I'm still doing Surya's, Standing, & Finishing. She says next week we will start adding asanas. I can't even begin to tell you how much better I feel to be practicing again.

Also, I was officially discharged from physical therapy on Thursday. The PT gave me some exercises to keep doing on my own. Physical therapy is fascinating to me. If only there were more hours in the day, I would probably like to go to school for that too! I think I have a problem, I want to learn about everything! I would be in school for many lifetimes if I let myself pursue all the fields I wanted to.

I would like to be trained in:

-chinese medicine
-massage therapy
-physical therapy
-counseling
-ayurvedic medicine
-neuroscience
-yoga

Yeah, so I need more money and time!

Day Two

This morning was my second ashtanga practice. It was also very nice. I was really really sore from yesterday! My back was bothering me the tiniest bit after practice, but by a couple hours later it had calmed down. I think it is all about endurance now, both my spine and I need to build up some stamina !

I can't believe YTT graduation is August 25th. It is so close! How time flies! I remember how much trouble I had deciding whether or not to enroll. The time and money seemed like too much of a commitment, and now I can't even imagine not having gone on this journey.

Smile, You are on Candid....Yoga

I'm back on the wagon :) Yesterday I taught a led primary, went to an Ashtanga for teachers workshop, (which continues today), then this morning I had my first practice in six weeks. It was delicious. M suggested I do through standing and then back bends and closing. So I did that, but I did it really slowly, savoring every moment.

So the workshop was very spontaneous, in that I have been out of the loop and didn't know it was going on. I came out of the led primary I was teaching, and the workshop was starting, so I signed up and ran into the room. Today I will be leading all the teachers through primary. That is a little intimidating for some reason. But I am excited about it.

My husband and I have starting training for the Men's Health Urbanathalon in NYC in September. I haven't ever tried running and yoga in the same time period. I wonder how long it takes to start tightening your hammys and psoas, and quads, etc... Any advice on that ?

Ooooh, and while I'm on the topic of advice. I've taken on a client for private yoga instruction. She is just entering her second trimester. I have some experience teaching prenatal yoga, but not a lot. Anyone with experience in this want to comment on their favorite poses for this type of instruction?

Wide Awake and Dreaming

Last night as I was having trouble falling asleep I found myself trying to figure out why I always let my mind race as I go to sleep. During the day I have vigilance for my thought patterns, and I try to keep them healthy and in the moment. But for some reason at night, I lose my will and the thoughts pour out.

I found myself worrying about things so far off in the future, they may never happen. That is so silly. Let's worry about things that may not even happen! I mean, come on!

Anyway, instead of entertaining this nauseating game any longer, I decided to practice a little mindfulness. And I found that my vicious thoughts were taking me out of the most lovely experience.

As I lay in bed trying to fall asleep, the fan was on and producing the most sweet subtle breeze. The sheets felt so soft and comfortable. I had my husband breathing in sync with me by my side. I felt still and quiet and it was absolutely lovely. And I could have missed it because of citta vritti! Isn't it wonderful that liberation is by our sides at all times? So close that we can access it at a moment's notice.

Chicago. Part Deux

I'm back from a fabulous trip to Chicago. I have to say that I really do now feel like a bonafide scientist! My work was very well received, and it really was a pleasure to present it to my colleagues.

Here's a pic of this "momentous" event!


While in Chicago, I followed a hot tip from Tim and went to Frontera Grill for lunch. It was fabulous! I had salmon in a chipotle cream sauce and roasted potatoes with a bed of micro greens covered in honey vinaigrette. YUMM.

Here's a pic of the bar area:


It was worth an hour wait, thanks for the advice Tim! :)

I also had the opportunity to sight-see a bit.
I saw Millennium Park:

The Museum of Contemporary Art:


And the skyline from the Planetarium:



Also, my back is starting to heal I think. The trip to Chicago was really good for me. The physical therapist says that from what he can tell, I am "90 %" healed...so now I just have to be careful not to jump in too fast!

While I was at the conference, I got an anonymous comment about how I am waaaay too hard on myself and that this may be manifesting in injury, and the advice to order "The Mind Body Prescription". I have to say that this comment really resonated with me, as I am very in to the mind/body connection as a neuroscientist yogini. I love the idea that our emotions manifest themselves in our physical body, and that the condition of our body can manifest in our mind in a reciprocal fashion. I am anxiously awaiting the book's arrival in the mail. Also, as an interesting coincidence, I have been focusing on self-love and acceptance in my meditations lately, so this comment really caught my eye. Why are we so hard on others, and even more hard on ourselves?

Anyway, I plan to post a lot more often again, now that the talk is over. I was investing a lot of time and energy into it, and it was all worth it!

Hope all is well with you.
Namaste.

Chicago

Still in physical therapy. Many painful days since those pain free days I last wrote about. No asana for weeks now. It is interesting how much you learn about yourself in situations like these.

I leave for Chicago tomorrow for almost a week for a conference. I'm giving a talk about my research in front of an audience of 500. That should be interesting. It is so funny how this is my work that I have spent years of my life on, and I still feel a little like a phony when talking about it. Like some sneaky imaginary competent scientist comes in , does all the work, and then I get to pretend it is mine. I wonder how long you are in this line of work before you really feel like you deserve to be a part of things like this :)

I'll write when i return from Chicago, and hopefully I will be able to return to asana as well.

Namaste.

Connected

I went to a very crowded cafeteria style room today for lunch with a couple friends. While they grabbed our lunches, I reserved a table by sitting and spreading my few belongings out to look like I had invisible friends at every seat. At first I felt pretty awkward. And then I started looking around at all the other tables of people. I usually ignore a crowd in that type of situation, but instead I decided to lean into the awkwardness. And I found that as I saw each person, met eyes with a few of them, that I was glad I was looking at them. I felt connected to them and happy that they were there. Isn't it funny that a crowd can either make you feel lonely or make you feel in touch, depending on how you react to it. Same crowd, different reactions.

Okay, enough of my esoteric rant. I just really enjoyed that feeling.

Today is the second pain free day in over six weeks. No asana for over two weeks. I see the physical therapist in the morning, and I'm praying he'll say that the vertebra has stayed in alignment.

I gave that talk yesterday. I got a really positive response, and that was very cool. I almost feel like a real, honest to goodness scientist. Almost :)

Physical Therapy in Lieu of Yoga Therapy...

So, I'll be doing some strength building exercises for a week (or two, it's hard to tell with these kinds of things). I like having a plan to follow. That's probably one of the reasons I am drawn to ashtanga in the first place.

At work, I'm giving my first talk about my own data tomorrow morning. This will actually be a practice for a talk I'm giving in three weeks at a national alcohol research convention. It is really weird to have reached this milestone in my career. It feels good. Well, it feels good when it doesn't feel awful from me being nervous.

Thanks for all of the supportive comments everyone! :)

I'm sure some of you thought I was a slacker...

Nope. I've been avoiding my blog on purpose....I've been really injured, and really angry.

For about six weeks now, I've had a pain in my upper back, on the left side, between my shoulder blade and my spine....It would go away, then come back, then go away, etc.... So I tried modifying, I tried being more mindful of keeping my shoulder blades flat on my back in chataranga, I tried to be more mindful of keeping my back straight and not hyper-extending in down dog, I tried taking some time off...and then the muscle spasms started...there was no more kidding myself, so I went to the doctor.

She sent me to a specialist and physical therapy. Turns out I had a vertebral subluxation...in english, a vertebra had rotated out of alignment. The PT popped it back in, and I went on about my life in a semi-crippled way from soreness, until the next day when I demo-ed a pose (very gently! I was being cautious) in a class I was teaching, and I heard a pop and felt excruciating pain...

Went to the PT this morning, and it had popped back out! So, now I'm on a strict "NO-YOGA" only physical therapy regimen...apparently the muscles around this particular area are weak and malformed after the 6 weeks of wear and tear and it is time to whip them back into shape...

So, yeah, I'm angry, and bitter, and I had to miss a weekend with Manju Jois this weekend, that I had already paid for.

Hmph.

I don't know if Ashtanga is too dangerous, or if I push too hard, or if I had a weak spot in my body that needed to be addressed...I hate to be in this place where I am considering switching lineages....I really doubt I will give it up, but seriously, I don't know how much more of this kind of thing I can take...


*EDIT* I just read back through my blog, and I've complained of this since MAY 10th! Geez...

Oh how I've missed the Atlantic Coast

Living in the smack dab middle of texas (or the country for that matter) makes me feel so removed. And having grown up on the east coast, being this far away is hard. Luckily for Memorial Day weekend, my mom invited me and my husband out to Florida. It was one of the most perfect vacations I have ever had. Even managed to do a yoga photo shoot on the beach, I'll post some of the pics here soon! :)

The only negative is that I didn't practice for the past 5 days. Mysore in the morning should be interesting ! Thank goodness Thursday is a moonday.

You tagged me, you really tagged me ! :)

Thank you Tim for tagging me! :) I was beginning to feel like the last kid to be picked for kickball teams! :)

Okay here goes:

1. While it may not surprise you that I read a lot of blogs, I also read a lot of celebrity gossip blogs like perezhilton.com . It's a habit I'm trying to give up, but geez they are strangely compelling!

2. In college, I used to play pool to supplement my income. They never saw it coming ;)

3. I am unusually sensitive to light and noise...I'm happiest in a dark or dimly lit room that is absolutely silent.

4. I tore my ACL on a trampoline when I was 15 years old at a friends house. She never spoke to me again because her family was so scared that mine would sue. We didn't.

5. I often feel like a phony at work. Like I am the only one there who doesn't belong. I keep promising myself that I'm going to spend all my spare time studying to try to "catch up" with everyone else.

6. My favorite meal is cheese pizza and champagne.

7. I have five parents. Dad, Step-Mom, Mom, Step-Dad, Ex-Step-Dad! Whew!

8. I have three tattoos, and plan to get another of the invocation in Sanskrit, when I graduate teacher training in August.

______________________________________________________
The rules - 1: Each player starts with 8 random facts/habits about themselves. 2: People who are tagged, write a blog post about their own 8 random things, and post these rules. 3: At the end of your post you need to tag 8 people and include their names. 4: Don't forget to leave them a comment and tell them they're tagged, and to read your blog.
______________________________________________________

I would like to tag:
Yoga Chickie
A Lotus Girl
Kayla (Mama Yogini)
Caroline (Ashtangi Aspirant)
Tiff (Yogini's Quest)
Xzar
Tabby Cat
EdHo

The Fountain

I watched "The Fountain" last night on video. My husband and I have been bound and determined to see it, and we went to 6 video stores last night before we found one in stock. Popular film! And now that I have seen it I get why it was so hard to find. One of the very best films I have ever seen. I may be a little bit biased because I love Aronofsky and a lot of the themes were very yogic. I'm still going to stick my neck out there and highly recommend it.

I would go into why I love it so much, but that would include spoilers, and I don't want to ruin such a wonderful journey for any of you. But run, don't walk, to your local video store and rent it.

In Practice News: I'm having a funny feeling on the left side of my upper spine, and it is has been hanging out there for a couple weeks now. It seems like I always have something physically nagging going on. I spoke with Mary after class about it today, and she had a really beautiful way of putting it. She said that our bodies are carrying a history with them. From our ancestors and from our own lives. The practice helps to realign our physical (mental, and spiritual) body, and this process isn't always comfortable. After hearing this, I feel differently about the pain in my back, like I am letting some trauma go from this spot. She also told me that as the years pass, these nagging issues come fewer and farther between. I hope she is right ;)

Namaste everyone.