I went to another Anusara intensive last night with Christina Sell, super fun stuff. We worked on the inner spiral of the legs, with a focus on keeping the shins/calves stable to isolate and open the hips. We did poses/variations that I have never seen in person! Loved it.
Christina made a quick comment about how to beginners in an alignment based form of yoga (like Anusara), the details can seem overwhelming. It was like she was talking specifically to me :) I have not felt so judgemental of myself in a yoga class in a while. I have not yet figured out how to isolate many subtle muscles/movements. It is like starting asana all over again, when I had no awareness/connection to many large muscle groups, except now it is much more subtle.
It is a good opportunity for me to observe my thoughts, and keep a sense of humor about them. I've heard people say that "who you are on the mat is who you are off the mat". Sounds silly, but I really started to notice how true that is, I am competitive, judgemental, full of ego, but also, observant, devoted, analytical, and searching for transformation.
Taught a led primary immediately after again. Decided to "take it up a notch". Realized I was becoming to comfy in the role of a teacher who coddles her students. So there was a lot less demo-ing, and a lot less language like "if you feel comfortable..." We'll see how it goes, but I realized I need to hand some of the responsibility to the student.
Things are going well in lab. Had a meeting with my boss this past weekend, about my graduation timeline. We came up with a very reasonable plan to finish up my graduate career, and if all goes well, I'll graduate in (or before) May. It was a great meeting, where I found out that he agrees with me that I've done enough to start writing my dissertation up very soon. It was quite a relief considering he is very hard to read, and could have just as easily told me the opposite. I was ready to defend myself, and present my reasons why I thought I was ready, all this pent up aggression, and I didn't need it at all!
I'm in the process of writing up my second first-author project for publication. I'm flying solo. I'm getting the article to the point where I would be happy submitting it to a journal, and then handing it over to my boss for review. It is actually a fun process, I am such a dork!
It has been really challenging finding a balance amongst all this. The closer I get to graduation, the more in love with Neuroscience I get, the more time I want to spend at lab, and reading the literature. However, I'm more "in love" than ever with yoga. Teaching and practicing. I'm at a place where I feel like I am doing both things half-assed. There just aren't enough hours in the day. But the bottom line is I need both in my life, and am not willing to give either up, so I need to figure out a way to be okay with the way things are :)
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3 comments:
Some unsolicited advice for you from one academic yogini to another. Keep your day job.
Academia is about the cushiest job you can have. You will have much more time to develop your own practice and much more money to pursue training to your heart's delight.
If you think there aren't enough hours in a day now.. just do the math on how much salary, benefits, vacation time you get in an academic context, both now and ten, twenty thirty years down the line. Then look at how much yoga yoga pays their full time teachers and how much they have to work for that money. That's how much you would start at and probably what you'd be making thirty years from now...
Christina would tell you the same thing.
Oops, found a grammar error after posting, here it is again.
I think your advice is awesome. And I am asking for it in a way, by putting all this out there on a blog ;)
Ah the voice of reason, Thanks for the input! I'm never really serious about leaving Neuroscience, I just like to daydream about it :)
You are not a dork! Second first-author paper is awesome! I am very proud of you.
Are you coming to DC for SFN conference? I was too late to submit a poster and now I am not sure if they approve my meeting expenses. We'll see, though.
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