Nope. I've been avoiding my blog on purpose....I've been really injured, and really angry.
For about six weeks now, I've had a pain in my upper back, on the left side, between my shoulder blade and my spine....It would go away, then come back, then go away, etc.... So I tried modifying, I tried being more mindful of keeping my shoulder blades flat on my back in chataranga, I tried to be more mindful of keeping my back straight and not hyper-extending in down dog, I tried taking some time off...and then the muscle spasms started...there was no more kidding myself, so I went to the doctor.
She sent me to a specialist and physical therapy. Turns out I had a vertebral subluxation...in english, a vertebra had rotated out of alignment. The PT popped it back in, and I went on about my life in a semi-crippled way from soreness, until the next day when I demo-ed a pose (very gently! I was being cautious) in a class I was teaching, and I heard a pop and felt excruciating pain...
Went to the PT this morning, and it had popped back out! So, now I'm on a strict "NO-YOGA" only physical therapy regimen...apparently the muscles around this particular area are weak and malformed after the 6 weeks of wear and tear and it is time to whip them back into shape...
So, yeah, I'm angry, and bitter, and I had to miss a weekend with Manju Jois this weekend, that I had already paid for.
Hmph.
I don't know if Ashtanga is too dangerous, or if I push too hard, or if I had a weak spot in my body that needed to be addressed...I hate to be in this place where I am considering switching lineages....I really doubt I will give it up, but seriously, I don't know how much more of this kind of thing I can take...
*EDIT* I just read back through my blog, and I've complained of this since MAY 10th! Geez...
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13 comments:
"I don't know if Ashtanga is too dangerous, or if I push too hard, or if I had a weak spot in my body that needed to be addressed...I hate to be in this place where I am considering switching lineages....I really doubt I will give it up, but seriously, I don't know how much more of this kind of thing I can take..."
Oh girl, ups and downs are part of the relationship. Injury isn't good, but in this case it sounds like it's brought you new listening-powers. I hope you heal quickly. God knows my grad program doesn't pay for chiropractic, but if you can afford it a series of adjustments could help sensitize you to how your spine should feel... and help learn to use the practice to bring it back to center (despite the Marichys!). xo
welcome back to the complainosphere. my blog is pretty much all complaining anyway. your upper back pain sounds somewhat similar to mine, except mine is worse on the right, i've had it longer, and i haven't had a lot of popping. maybe because there is a lot of tension. once i had a weird icky feeling in bhuja- basically while pressing through a misaligned shoulder blade. then the rib more or less went back into place over the next couple of days, in 2-3 discrete installments.
i've had chiropractic, also acupuncture. i'm more partial to the acupuncture overall. course i'm also a student of it. which is why i've had so many various treatments. basically i try to fix myself up, then go back to my part-time job and my body freaks out again. which is why my situation has gone on.
some opinions- i think chiro can help some, to an extent. seems most helpful when things feel very stuck, to get things moving again. overall i like acu/moxa more because it works on a constitutional level, and it can be very relaxing- good on a musculoskeletal level plus helpful in increasing awareness about what does and does not work for my body. if you don't change the muscle/soft tissue, the vertebrae will probably shift again soon, so i feel chiro effects can be pretty short term for chronic things.
after all this, i happened to talk to someone yesterday about passive stretching- laying with towel under upper back, so i finally tried it. i had been realizing that there must be stuff happening with the tendons, making it so hard to use my shoulders correctly. and there's why i put some blame on my yoga habits- loads of primary. all that pushing can affect the tendons, such as pec minor (in front). recently i decided to only do primary 3x/week. ideally would like to mix w/2nd 3x/week. but i'm not 'done' with primary. still i'm changing toward that direction now. my shoulders & tendons have voted, and common sense (variety is good...) has registered. highly recommend the passive stretching. wow i am so not concise.
Sorry about the injury; I hope it clears up soon.
Agreeing with OvO (one again), the relationship with ashtanga has its ups and downs. I spend months injured and now am ok (touch wood). The body does its thing, opens up, releases, works with you. A physio friend of mine said "people just don't understand that before it gets better it has to hurt". Personally I kept practicing, although not strongly, just keeping the body moving in these familiar ways, whether keeping a leg straight to protect my knee, or using no hands, missing out all shoulder activity, etc...Psychologically it's good, it keeps you in the loop. You DO NOT have to push at all, let alone hard. Time for compassion and love! Don't beat yourself up about it, and don't get annoyed, it's all part of the process, however crap it feels right now. You will be fit again and you will be back to a normal practice, and like everything you'll forget how hard it really was but you never forget what you learned.
Take it easy, thinking of you.
cj x
Oh and consider seeing an Osteopath they have more tools in the toolbox than chiropractors.
Sorry to hear of your injury. Hope you are better soon!
Thanks for all of the support you guys! I wrote this post in a moment of frustration. I really do understand that it won't always be smooth sailing, but I have only been practicing Ashtanga for one year, and it seems like I have been injured for most of it! :) I practiced Hatha for 9 years before that, without injury! My teacher tells me that it was similar for her, and that the longer she has practiced, the fewer and farther between her injuries were, like she has been cleaning up her body for years and years. Anyway, thanks for all the thoughtful comments!
Ouch. Sorry you are injured and sorry about missing the Manju Jois weekend! I admit to being fearful of hurting myself, especially since I have some neck issues. I have had good luck with chiropractic treatment.
I'll be hoping for a quick recovery and return to yoga for you....
that's what i keep hoping, that after a year or two with yoga chikitsa, a lot of the physical stuff will be cleared up.
Thinking of you..and sending you LOTS of healing energy!
Being injured really does suck...it throws your whole world for a loop!
Namaste~
Tracy
Thanks Tracy! :)
Hi! You should strongly consider checking out this book and the work of Dr. John Sarno, especially since you're a neuro student. I bet you will/can identify with the scenarios & personality types he outlines. Your description of your injuries and how hard on yourself you are & your anger are "textbook" examples of what he talks about.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0446675156
There's a youtube video of him on 20/20 w/John Stossel. Google him!
I'm going to order this on amazon right now. You are so right about me being hard on myself. I am focusing on self - love in my meditations right now, and I think you hit the nail on the head. Thanks so much for the input! :)
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