I've been struggling a lot with ego lately. I watched this movie "revolver" by Guy Ritchie, which sums it up quite nicely that our worst enemy is inside our head making us believe it is our best friend. It is insidious and ever so difficult to tease it apart from the truth. It seems the more aware I am of my ego, the more frustrated I am by its presence.
At work, I struggle with feeling competitive with others. If they learn to swim, I do not drown, so why would I be so threatened? I get angry at myself for feeling this way. I want to feel more love for those around me.
With yoga, I struggle with comparing myself to other teachers or practitioners. Again, their success does not impede my own, so why would I ever be bothered by it.
It has been pretty intense lately. I am hoping it has come to a frenzy point because I am confronting it. I am also hopeful that I am on the precipice of some great transformation. Last night at a party, a friend of mine did a brief tarot reading for me. My card was the wheel of fortune, which stands for truth, enlightenment, and the constancy of change. In the reading he said my mantra for now should be "I am now ready for the miracle of my lifetime". Boy am I ever.
Happy Weekend All!
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Reunion
Tomorrow my husband and I are going back to Chapel Hill, NC for a reunion. We are super excited!!! I can't tell you how much I miss the east coast. Anyway, it will be a weekend of fun, food, drink, and craziness.
I'm still running daily, and thanks everyone for the comments on how to keep my muscles long and flexy. Alfia, I think it was you who said that after a while the muscles would get used to it, and I would regain flexibility. You were very right, I'm glad I just keep pushing through.
Practice has been here and there where I can squeeze it in. I haven't been to a group mysore or led class in what seems like forever, but I'm really enjoying my private time :) Practice is always different when you are alone, I always seem to push myself harder and take risks I don't usually take in front of others. I think I'm afraid of embarrassing myself in a class.
Anyway, everyone have a wonderful weekend, I'll post on my return on Tuesday!
I'm still running daily, and thanks everyone for the comments on how to keep my muscles long and flexy. Alfia, I think it was you who said that after a while the muscles would get used to it, and I would regain flexibility. You were very right, I'm glad I just keep pushing through.
Practice has been here and there where I can squeeze it in. I haven't been to a group mysore or led class in what seems like forever, but I'm really enjoying my private time :) Practice is always different when you are alone, I always seem to push myself harder and take risks I don't usually take in front of others. I think I'm afraid of embarrassing myself in a class.
Anyway, everyone have a wonderful weekend, I'll post on my return on Tuesday!
Monday, April 14, 2008
Publish or Perish
Today I found out that a project that I have been working on for over three years is finally completed. After three frustrating submissions to the journal "Neuroscience", it was accepted today!
HURRAY!!!!!
It is also my first first-author paper. I am walking on cloud nine!
HURRAY!!!!!
It is also my first first-author paper. I am walking on cloud nine!
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Homesick for a place I've never been (and for one that I have)
I've been reading A LOT lately. I wasn't a reader really, until a couple of weeks ago. Except for a few phases in high school, I would read what I had to to get by in my classes and at work. But something happened and now I'm insatiable. Ordering books off Amazon in groups :) Groups of Neuroscience books, and groups of Yoga books, and mixed groups, oh my!
One common theme of my yoga related readings is the pilgrimage. I'm reading about these personal quests, and I have a longing to go on one myself. That is very much not an option right now, so I read about others', but it really feels like homesickness. I'd love to travel to an Ashram and study/practice yoga for months on end, but with a year left on my PhD, that is not an option. The funny thing is, I read these books because of my homesickness, and they only make it worse. Maybe I could take a pilgrimage without going anywhere, but that seems so much harder.
My husband and I are traveling back to Chapel Hill in just over a week. It is where we met, and where we dated, and where he proposed. It's no surprise that I have very fond memories of it. I'm homesick for that place, too. We have even been discussing moving back there once we have both graduated. Just the thought of it puts a smile on my face. The best part is that we are going there for a reunion of our friends from college. It will be like old times :)
Short practice last night. Still tight hamstrings and hip flexors, but I do feel a stability in my pelvis that hasn't been there before.
Tonight we are going to see The Kids In The Hall on tour. Really looking forward to that, it should be a good laugh. And apparently if you hang out after the show, they come out to sign things and take pictures with you!
One common theme of my yoga related readings is the pilgrimage. I'm reading about these personal quests, and I have a longing to go on one myself. That is very much not an option right now, so I read about others', but it really feels like homesickness. I'd love to travel to an Ashram and study/practice yoga for months on end, but with a year left on my PhD, that is not an option. The funny thing is, I read these books because of my homesickness, and they only make it worse. Maybe I could take a pilgrimage without going anywhere, but that seems so much harder.
My husband and I are traveling back to Chapel Hill in just over a week. It is where we met, and where we dated, and where he proposed. It's no surprise that I have very fond memories of it. I'm homesick for that place, too. We have even been discussing moving back there once we have both graduated. Just the thought of it puts a smile on my face. The best part is that we are going there for a reunion of our friends from college. It will be like old times :)
Short practice last night. Still tight hamstrings and hip flexors, but I do feel a stability in my pelvis that hasn't been there before.
Tonight we are going to see The Kids In The Hall on tour. Really looking forward to that, it should be a good laugh. And apparently if you hang out after the show, they come out to sign things and take pictures with you!
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Ooooooh - Tight Hammys!
Practice this morning was not fun. My husband and I bought an elliptical machine for our home, because we are both busy, and want to be able to have a quick workout. So I've been running on it a lot lately, and my hamstrings, hip flexors, and quadriceps are TIIII-IIIGHT.
I like the cardiovascular fitness aspect of including this workout, it is much easier to keep a slow, fluid, controlled breath during Surya Namaskar for example. However, I'm not sure about this whole tightening up thing!
Any runners out there have any suggestions? I always do a long Paschimattanasana, Badha Konasana, and Supta Virasana after I run...but any other ideas would be greatly appreciated! :)
I like the cardiovascular fitness aspect of including this workout, it is much easier to keep a slow, fluid, controlled breath during Surya Namaskar for example. However, I'm not sure about this whole tightening up thing!
Any runners out there have any suggestions? I always do a long Paschimattanasana, Badha Konasana, and Supta Virasana after I run...but any other ideas would be greatly appreciated! :)
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
On the Roster
I'm officially on the schedule at my favorite studio in town. It's a large studio, with four locations, 129 teachers total! It is an honor to be part of the community. However,......
I'm a brat and still found a reason to be unhappy with it. They gave me a Hatha class. I wanted to teach an Ashtanga class, but we have many many talented Ashtanga teachers, and I'm the new kid on the block. They all returned, so no Ashtanga class for me.
I can think of many reasons why I'll enjoy teaching Hatha, but it feels weird to teach something I don't practice. And yes, I realize Ashtanga can be considered a form of Hatha yoga, and that I can teach the same asanas....but I feel out of my element just the same. The mentality of the students is a bit different, and I'm afraid I won't be able to relate to them as well. I'm surprised by my own prejudice.
I can't help but think this must be happening for some reason. And in the past I've really enjoyed teaching Hatha classes, so I'm going to go forward whole-heartedly :) I feel really lucky to be able to bring yoga to anyone, in any form.
Enough ranting and raving. Namaste.
I'm a brat and still found a reason to be unhappy with it. They gave me a Hatha class. I wanted to teach an Ashtanga class, but we have many many talented Ashtanga teachers, and I'm the new kid on the block. They all returned, so no Ashtanga class for me.
I can think of many reasons why I'll enjoy teaching Hatha, but it feels weird to teach something I don't practice. And yes, I realize Ashtanga can be considered a form of Hatha yoga, and that I can teach the same asanas....but I feel out of my element just the same. The mentality of the students is a bit different, and I'm afraid I won't be able to relate to them as well. I'm surprised by my own prejudice.
I can't help but think this must be happening for some reason. And in the past I've really enjoyed teaching Hatha classes, so I'm going to go forward whole-heartedly :) I feel really lucky to be able to bring yoga to anyone, in any form.
Enough ranting and raving. Namaste.
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