30,000 Neuroscientists Walk Into a Bar....

Okay, it wasn't a bar, it was a convention center in San Diego (see picture below). And there is no punchline to the joke, it was just a "clever" way to get you to read my post :)

I just returned from a conference called "Neuroscience" in San Diego. Over 30,000 scientists presenting the newest data, meeting with one another, talking with vendors of the newest products, and taking courses. It was crazy, overwhelming, and most of all, inspiring. I wasn't presenting any data myself, I was there to soak it all in. Every time I eavesdropped on a conversation anywhere near the convention center, I heard phrases like " the inhibitory action at the synapse", "C57/Bl6 mice differ from Jackson in their ethanol preference", & "dendritic spines experience local long term potentiation". Really cool to be around so many people with a common interest.

Now, I'm back in the lab, and raring to go with all the new things I've learned in the past week.

OH, and to include some yoga in this post. I did not manage to practice while I was there.... ;)

It has come to my attention....

that I haven't posted in a while. so here goes :)

I registered for week 1 at the new shala in Florida in March. I have not yet met Guruji, so I am really excited about it. Anyone else going? It would be fun to meet some ashtangi.net folks :)

I've been working at the lab waaaaaay too much lately. 10 hrs a day, 7 days a week...when you include practice, this is a twelve hour day...include traffic and, well, I don't even want to think about it. I'm having trouble finding time to even eat...whew!

I hope you are all well.

Updates and Stuff

The results of the MRI were really good. No damage to the bones or disks of my spine. It is a muscular issue. More physical therapy to come. I'm so relieved, I can handle the work of PT.

In other news, this is really silly to be excited about, but I just kicked up into handstand for the first time (well the first time in 20 years). I have a thing about inversions...so it was fear, but I just did it here in my bedroom, and it was really fun!

I've been assisting M, teaching Mysore classes. I'm learning soooo much about adjustments and how to best teach the sequence, especially to beginners. I'm hoping to start teaching my own classes in January.

My practice seems to be slowly coming back as well. I'm currently doing through the Marichi's without skipping any vinyasas, and the back feels solid. My backbends are coming back, too. I'm doing morning Mysore again, after a brief stint in led evening classes.

Hey, anyone have any tips on how to work on opening the shoulders so the hands can touch in Prasarita Padottanasana C? Either while in the pose, or as a prep for it? Oh, and while I'm at it, any tips to come to Sirsasana with straight legs?

Hope you are all having a beautiful weekend. Namaste.

Magnetic Resonance

Today I am meeting with a doctor to review my MRI ... I can really relate to people who don't like to see a doctor ever, because they don't want to know... even if something is going on, no news is good news.

My audition to teach ashtanga for a local studio went well. I feel I am being groomed to start on their schedule in the spring. They have scheduled me for a couple weekend workshops with well-known ashtanga teachers for free! They say it is on an "educational credit". And I am mentoring with M.

If this post seems kind of bland...that is because I had five hours sleep last night...booo. I usually get 8 at least, and I like it that way. I feel fuzzy.

I'm not as serious as you

I've been taking led classes in the evenings lately. I've been skipping out on morning mysore, partly to practice with my hubby, and partly because I've missed the group energy of the led class. But for some reason, and I'm sure it is all me imposing this feeling on myself, I feel less serious about my practice. Like I'm no longer "hardcore" and what not.

I'd like to take a poll, leave a comment if you would be so kind: Do you practice Mysore style in the AM or led classes any time of day?

Also, in your comment, if you want to be even kinder: Do you think that Mysore style classes in the AM are more "hardcore" than the led ones?

And by hardcore, I mean more devoted, more serious about the practice, all around a more committed ashtangi :)

Walking in Tadasana

After seeing the chiropractor yesterday, I've decided that I absolutely have to improve my posture. This hunching over at my desk, hunching over the lab bench, hunching over while in bed with my laptop, etc etc has got to stop...I realized today I even hunch over when walking! I am what my chiro calls "head forward". Granted it isn't a huge shift forward, but apparently every millimeter forward, the load on your back, especially upper back (ah ha!) is exponentially increased.

As a result, I have made a new resolution to walk in tadasana. This is really strange and even more difficult. When I place my head over my shoulders, over my hips, over my sits bones, over my ankles, it feels like I may fall backward, yet when I catch a glance of my reflection I am perfectly upright. I'm finding that my core tightens up much more...and I feel as though I'm thrusting my hips forward, but I'm not. And then when I let myself fall back into my old habit of walking from walking in tadasana, I realize just how bad my posture is...it is a dramatic difference.

Next week...sitting, sleeping, cartwheeling, showering, running, biking, in tadasana!

Ah Marichi, how I have missed you.

Today M gave me through Mari C. Hurray! I really missed the shoulder opening and binding in the marichi's.

My husband sent me an email in the middle of the day that read "I want to go to E's 7:30 pm on Thursday and M's 10:30 am on Saturday". Yippee! These will be his second and third led classes ever. Going to these led classes with him is harder than I remember led classes to be. I don't know if I work harder because of the group energy, or they are just faster, but I am surprised by how tired I get!

Hey anybody own the Prana Goucho's? I am considering them, but am worried they are useless for ashtanga...hmmmm, headstand in flared legs....I see london, I see france :)

Hurray!

My husband asked me to "ashtanga him" last night. I think maybe he has caught the bug :) I called the postures through warrior 1, and then we did yoga mudra, padmasana, and utiplutih to close.

My practice continues. Slowly, slowly. One by one we go. I am still doing primary through Janu C with only very mild discomfort. The thought occurred to me today while in savasana that soon I may have to get up earlier and work harder! In all my worrying about my back, I didn't realize that I was really getting used to my little practice :)

Like a Virgin...

Sore for the very first time...

That sounded gross...My husband and I went to an ashtanga led primary yesterday during free yoga day here in Austin. He emailed me today to say how sore he is. There is nothing like the soreness you feel your first few hundred times of a led primary class.

That was his first Ashtanga class ever! Other than me walking him through surya a & b and a few poses from standing here in our house. It was really fun to share it with him and I secretly hope the bug got him the way it did me after my first class.

Wow!

I am actually going to blog about my practice! It has been a while since I did that, but that is because there hasn't been much to blog about until recently. Hmmm...didn't think I'd ever use blog as a verb...but there I go.

Anyway, I have been practicing through Janu Sirsasana C lately. I'm nervous about entering the Marichiyasanas because of the twists, it will be interesting to see how my upper back holds up. Although parivrtta trikonasana and parivrtta parsvakonasana haven't been bothering it.

It feels really good to have that as a constant in my life right now. I was feeling a little down about not practicing full primary, and M (my teacher) told me that I shouldn't worry about it because I am just getting back into things, and that coming everyday is enough. She is right about that.

Graduation!

Yesterday was YTT graduation. I can't believe how fast that went! 9 months of training, done. I'm already thinking about my 500 hr......and then realizing that I am insane.....

Nothing else to report at the moment. I will write again very soon.

The light at the end of the tunnel

A friend of mine (Hi Jesse!) once said that sometimes the light at the end of the tunnel is a train. I hope that isn't the case for me! :)

Thinking positively, I believe I am coming to the end of a couple of tunnels in my life. I just got word from YTT that I am set to graduate on time, on August 26th.

Also, my back is thinking about submitting to my will and calming down. I can take a deep breath today, and it feels like nothing is wrong...I hope it holds!

I spent a lot of time with my kula this weekend. It was really nice... Then I spent some time with some non-yoga folks....It was interesting... I feel like the more I get into yogic lifestyle, the more I refuse to live a non-yogic one. Let me explain. I was watching a bunch of college-aged kids play beach volleyball. There were young women in teeny weeny bikinis, and bronzed dudes without shirts picking fights with one another to impress said teeny weeny bikinis. Now of course part of my reaction to them is me feeling like that time in my life is past, no more teeny weeny bikinis for me, no more tanning for the hell of it, no more getting impressed by dudes picking fights...but another is that I feel like these kids are missing the point. And then I feel I can't relate to them....and then I just want to go back to my kula :) But I believe that these uncomfortable situations are opportunities to practice.

On the flip side, I do feel like yoga has helped me relate to many people better. I'm not running around assuming people won't understand my point of view, in fact I feel like I understand theirs much more and that allows me to love them. Sometimes it is just so much easier to hang out with my kula, knowing we are all on a similar path with similar goals. It is easy to be around people who love you unconditionally. And it is fun to be around people that you deeply care about as well.

Okay, I'm rambling...so enough for today! Namaste :)

So Close and yet So Far

The last full weekend of YTT was this weekend. Wow. We started the weekend with a "share circle" which was interesting, when it was my turn, I found myself crying in front of 40 people. It was okay though because I was crying as I was telling them all how much I love them, and how much I hope we actually keep in touch, instead of just saying we will. Teacher training has been incredible, and I can't believe it is coming to an end. Definitely one of the best experiences of my life. I think the best part has been that the more I've learned, the more I've realized that we already know the answers, we just have to find them within ourselves.

Training was mostly teaching each other asana all weekend. It was a lot of practice, and my back seemed to hold up. I've continued to practice in the mornings as well and have had chiropractor appointments every couple of days. She told me this morning that she thinks things are getting better. But only time will tell :)

I hope you are well, Namaste.

The little engine that could

I'm continuing to practice daily. I'm not willing to give it up again. I'm seeing the chiro three times a week; she says to expect some progress in about two weeks, we'll see :)

Results...

That sneaky vertebra had slipped back out. The Chiro gave me a bunch of adjustments, exercises, and appointments for this week.

Back to Square One

Something has gone horribly wrong this weekend with the spine. I have an appointment tomorrow morning with a Chiropractor, and I will post the results here.

I should switch from ashtangi.net to vertebralsubluxation.net! But please don't make me :)

Heppy Bday!

Happy Birthday to You
Happy Birthday to You
Happy Birthday dearest Guruji
Happy Birthday to You

Trucking Along

I have practiced every morning since last Sunday, and boy what a difference a week makes. M is building me up slowly, I'm still doing Surya's, Standing, & Finishing. She says next week we will start adding asanas. I can't even begin to tell you how much better I feel to be practicing again.

Also, I was officially discharged from physical therapy on Thursday. The PT gave me some exercises to keep doing on my own. Physical therapy is fascinating to me. If only there were more hours in the day, I would probably like to go to school for that too! I think I have a problem, I want to learn about everything! I would be in school for many lifetimes if I let myself pursue all the fields I wanted to.

I would like to be trained in:

-chinese medicine
-massage therapy
-physical therapy
-counseling
-ayurvedic medicine
-neuroscience
-yoga

Yeah, so I need more money and time!

Day Two

This morning was my second ashtanga practice. It was also very nice. I was really really sore from yesterday! My back was bothering me the tiniest bit after practice, but by a couple hours later it had calmed down. I think it is all about endurance now, both my spine and I need to build up some stamina !

I can't believe YTT graduation is August 25th. It is so close! How time flies! I remember how much trouble I had deciding whether or not to enroll. The time and money seemed like too much of a commitment, and now I can't even imagine not having gone on this journey.

Smile, You are on Candid....Yoga

I'm back on the wagon :) Yesterday I taught a led primary, went to an Ashtanga for teachers workshop, (which continues today), then this morning I had my first practice in six weeks. It was delicious. M suggested I do through standing and then back bends and closing. So I did that, but I did it really slowly, savoring every moment.

So the workshop was very spontaneous, in that I have been out of the loop and didn't know it was going on. I came out of the led primary I was teaching, and the workshop was starting, so I signed up and ran into the room. Today I will be leading all the teachers through primary. That is a little intimidating for some reason. But I am excited about it.

My husband and I have starting training for the Men's Health Urbanathalon in NYC in September. I haven't ever tried running and yoga in the same time period. I wonder how long it takes to start tightening your hammys and psoas, and quads, etc... Any advice on that ?

Ooooh, and while I'm on the topic of advice. I've taken on a client for private yoga instruction. She is just entering her second trimester. I have some experience teaching prenatal yoga, but not a lot. Anyone with experience in this want to comment on their favorite poses for this type of instruction?

Wide Awake and Dreaming

Last night as I was having trouble falling asleep I found myself trying to figure out why I always let my mind race as I go to sleep. During the day I have vigilance for my thought patterns, and I try to keep them healthy and in the moment. But for some reason at night, I lose my will and the thoughts pour out.

I found myself worrying about things so far off in the future, they may never happen. That is so silly. Let's worry about things that may not even happen! I mean, come on!

Anyway, instead of entertaining this nauseating game any longer, I decided to practice a little mindfulness. And I found that my vicious thoughts were taking me out of the most lovely experience.

As I lay in bed trying to fall asleep, the fan was on and producing the most sweet subtle breeze. The sheets felt so soft and comfortable. I had my husband breathing in sync with me by my side. I felt still and quiet and it was absolutely lovely. And I could have missed it because of citta vritti! Isn't it wonderful that liberation is by our sides at all times? So close that we can access it at a moment's notice.

Chicago. Part Deux

I'm back from a fabulous trip to Chicago. I have to say that I really do now feel like a bonafide scientist! My work was very well received, and it really was a pleasure to present it to my colleagues.

Here's a pic of this "momentous" event!


While in Chicago, I followed a hot tip from Tim and went to Frontera Grill for lunch. It was fabulous! I had salmon in a chipotle cream sauce and roasted potatoes with a bed of micro greens covered in honey vinaigrette. YUMM.

Here's a pic of the bar area:


It was worth an hour wait, thanks for the advice Tim! :)

I also had the opportunity to sight-see a bit.
I saw Millennium Park:

The Museum of Contemporary Art:


And the skyline from the Planetarium:



Also, my back is starting to heal I think. The trip to Chicago was really good for me. The physical therapist says that from what he can tell, I am "90 %" healed...so now I just have to be careful not to jump in too fast!

While I was at the conference, I got an anonymous comment about how I am waaaay too hard on myself and that this may be manifesting in injury, and the advice to order "The Mind Body Prescription". I have to say that this comment really resonated with me, as I am very in to the mind/body connection as a neuroscientist yogini. I love the idea that our emotions manifest themselves in our physical body, and that the condition of our body can manifest in our mind in a reciprocal fashion. I am anxiously awaiting the book's arrival in the mail. Also, as an interesting coincidence, I have been focusing on self-love and acceptance in my meditations lately, so this comment really caught my eye. Why are we so hard on others, and even more hard on ourselves?

Anyway, I plan to post a lot more often again, now that the talk is over. I was investing a lot of time and energy into it, and it was all worth it!

Hope all is well with you.
Namaste.

Chicago

Still in physical therapy. Many painful days since those pain free days I last wrote about. No asana for weeks now. It is interesting how much you learn about yourself in situations like these.

I leave for Chicago tomorrow for almost a week for a conference. I'm giving a talk about my research in front of an audience of 500. That should be interesting. It is so funny how this is my work that I have spent years of my life on, and I still feel a little like a phony when talking about it. Like some sneaky imaginary competent scientist comes in , does all the work, and then I get to pretend it is mine. I wonder how long you are in this line of work before you really feel like you deserve to be a part of things like this :)

I'll write when i return from Chicago, and hopefully I will be able to return to asana as well.

Namaste.

Connected

I went to a very crowded cafeteria style room today for lunch with a couple friends. While they grabbed our lunches, I reserved a table by sitting and spreading my few belongings out to look like I had invisible friends at every seat. At first I felt pretty awkward. And then I started looking around at all the other tables of people. I usually ignore a crowd in that type of situation, but instead I decided to lean into the awkwardness. And I found that as I saw each person, met eyes with a few of them, that I was glad I was looking at them. I felt connected to them and happy that they were there. Isn't it funny that a crowd can either make you feel lonely or make you feel in touch, depending on how you react to it. Same crowd, different reactions.

Okay, enough of my esoteric rant. I just really enjoyed that feeling.

Today is the second pain free day in over six weeks. No asana for over two weeks. I see the physical therapist in the morning, and I'm praying he'll say that the vertebra has stayed in alignment.

I gave that talk yesterday. I got a really positive response, and that was very cool. I almost feel like a real, honest to goodness scientist. Almost :)

Physical Therapy in Lieu of Yoga Therapy...

So, I'll be doing some strength building exercises for a week (or two, it's hard to tell with these kinds of things). I like having a plan to follow. That's probably one of the reasons I am drawn to ashtanga in the first place.

At work, I'm giving my first talk about my own data tomorrow morning. This will actually be a practice for a talk I'm giving in three weeks at a national alcohol research convention. It is really weird to have reached this milestone in my career. It feels good. Well, it feels good when it doesn't feel awful from me being nervous.

Thanks for all of the supportive comments everyone! :)

I'm sure some of you thought I was a slacker...

Nope. I've been avoiding my blog on purpose....I've been really injured, and really angry.

For about six weeks now, I've had a pain in my upper back, on the left side, between my shoulder blade and my spine....It would go away, then come back, then go away, etc.... So I tried modifying, I tried being more mindful of keeping my shoulder blades flat on my back in chataranga, I tried to be more mindful of keeping my back straight and not hyper-extending in down dog, I tried taking some time off...and then the muscle spasms started...there was no more kidding myself, so I went to the doctor.

She sent me to a specialist and physical therapy. Turns out I had a vertebral subluxation...in english, a vertebra had rotated out of alignment. The PT popped it back in, and I went on about my life in a semi-crippled way from soreness, until the next day when I demo-ed a pose (very gently! I was being cautious) in a class I was teaching, and I heard a pop and felt excruciating pain...

Went to the PT this morning, and it had popped back out! So, now I'm on a strict "NO-YOGA" only physical therapy regimen...apparently the muscles around this particular area are weak and malformed after the 6 weeks of wear and tear and it is time to whip them back into shape...

So, yeah, I'm angry, and bitter, and I had to miss a weekend with Manju Jois this weekend, that I had already paid for.

Hmph.

I don't know if Ashtanga is too dangerous, or if I push too hard, or if I had a weak spot in my body that needed to be addressed...I hate to be in this place where I am considering switching lineages....I really doubt I will give it up, but seriously, I don't know how much more of this kind of thing I can take...


*EDIT* I just read back through my blog, and I've complained of this since MAY 10th! Geez...

Oh how I've missed the Atlantic Coast

Living in the smack dab middle of texas (or the country for that matter) makes me feel so removed. And having grown up on the east coast, being this far away is hard. Luckily for Memorial Day weekend, my mom invited me and my husband out to Florida. It was one of the most perfect vacations I have ever had. Even managed to do a yoga photo shoot on the beach, I'll post some of the pics here soon! :)

The only negative is that I didn't practice for the past 5 days. Mysore in the morning should be interesting ! Thank goodness Thursday is a moonday.

You tagged me, you really tagged me ! :)

Thank you Tim for tagging me! :) I was beginning to feel like the last kid to be picked for kickball teams! :)

Okay here goes:

1. While it may not surprise you that I read a lot of blogs, I also read a lot of celebrity gossip blogs like perezhilton.com . It's a habit I'm trying to give up, but geez they are strangely compelling!

2. In college, I used to play pool to supplement my income. They never saw it coming ;)

3. I am unusually sensitive to light and noise...I'm happiest in a dark or dimly lit room that is absolutely silent.

4. I tore my ACL on a trampoline when I was 15 years old at a friends house. She never spoke to me again because her family was so scared that mine would sue. We didn't.

5. I often feel like a phony at work. Like I am the only one there who doesn't belong. I keep promising myself that I'm going to spend all my spare time studying to try to "catch up" with everyone else.

6. My favorite meal is cheese pizza and champagne.

7. I have five parents. Dad, Step-Mom, Mom, Step-Dad, Ex-Step-Dad! Whew!

8. I have three tattoos, and plan to get another of the invocation in Sanskrit, when I graduate teacher training in August.

______________________________________________________
The rules - 1: Each player starts with 8 random facts/habits about themselves. 2: People who are tagged, write a blog post about their own 8 random things, and post these rules. 3: At the end of your post you need to tag 8 people and include their names. 4: Don't forget to leave them a comment and tell them they're tagged, and to read your blog.
______________________________________________________

I would like to tag:
Yoga Chickie
A Lotus Girl
Kayla (Mama Yogini)
Caroline (Ashtangi Aspirant)
Tiff (Yogini's Quest)
Xzar
Tabby Cat
EdHo

The Fountain

I watched "The Fountain" last night on video. My husband and I have been bound and determined to see it, and we went to 6 video stores last night before we found one in stock. Popular film! And now that I have seen it I get why it was so hard to find. One of the very best films I have ever seen. I may be a little bit biased because I love Aronofsky and a lot of the themes were very yogic. I'm still going to stick my neck out there and highly recommend it.

I would go into why I love it so much, but that would include spoilers, and I don't want to ruin such a wonderful journey for any of you. But run, don't walk, to your local video store and rent it.

In Practice News: I'm having a funny feeling on the left side of my upper spine, and it is has been hanging out there for a couple weeks now. It seems like I always have something physically nagging going on. I spoke with Mary after class about it today, and she had a really beautiful way of putting it. She said that our bodies are carrying a history with them. From our ancestors and from our own lives. The practice helps to realign our physical (mental, and spiritual) body, and this process isn't always comfortable. After hearing this, I feel differently about the pain in my back, like I am letting some trauma go from this spot. She also told me that as the years pass, these nagging issues come fewer and farther between. I hope she is right ;)

Namaste everyone.

Dropbacks...Drop! Back!

On Friday in morning mysore, Mary wanted me to start dropping back by myself....AHHHHHH!!!! I don't wanna!

Okay, now that the mild freakout is over...I really don't feel like I am ready. She has been assisting me, and I feel like she is doing all the work, and that when I do it myself, I am just going to fall on my head! I think tomorrow morning may be when I just have to go for it. I have a lot of fear in my practice. Headstand took way longer than it needed to, because I was scared of falling over, I don't jump-through properly because I'm scared I'll re-injure my shoulder. I've never attempted forearm stand (see headstand). And now, I can't seem to bring myself to make the drop.

I'm loving practice in spite of this fear. I've been given all the poses except setu bandhasana. Very cool.

I've started "teaching" classes fairly regularly. I have classes at my house, and I'm assisting with my second mentor. I'm surprised how much I'm going to have to get used to. Teaching is so much more complicated than I thought it was going to be. I look forward to having my own public classes where I can begin to feel more comfortable.

Hope you are all having a good weekend!

All Banged Up

Okay, either I am the most clumsy person in the world, or I am pushing myself too hard. I have teeny weeny injuries all over the place! They consist of:

-Bruises on the sides of both elbows from my legs pressing my arms into the ground in Kurmasana
-A small sprain on my left foot from landing weird on the top of my foot while jumping through
-A very sore inside of my left knee from landing on it when jumping back from bakasana
-A sore upper left spine, maybe from the rounding of Kurmasana and Supta Kurmasana
-A sore left SI joint, from demo-ing revolved positions while teaching when not warm enough
-Sore lower back from drop backs

The thing is, despite all of these, I'm really enjoying my practice and am being given a new pose almost daily. And any one of these on their own wouldn't be so bad, but I feel so beat up that it is definitely forcing me to take it easier....I don't want to be that person in class that is always injuring themselves...thank goodness tomorrow is a moon day! :)

Injuries and Openings....

I have a funny feeling in my upper back on the left side of my spine...not enough pain yet to be an injury, so I'll just refer to it as an opening... I was talking with Mary about it today, and she told me a story about how Guruji says that pain is "a symptom of the practice". I agree to a certain extent. Pain due to body changes and "openings" is totally fine, I think it teaches you to be strong and focused... That being said, pain due to injuries is not okay, although sometimes it is hard to tell the difference.

I was given Baddha Konasana today. Very cool. First pose I've ever been "given". My mysore practice before Mary was not as traditional, so I went the whole way through the primary series. I'm trying to not be attached to getting poses, but it is exciting!

Teacher training again on Saturday. And then I teach my first class on Sunday. Whew, time is a flyin'!

Yoga, Yoga, and More Yoga!

This weekend was teacher training, we have been together as a group for a while now, and have grown really close. This process has been extremely transformative for me, and I believe I have made some life long friends. Shout out to my Kula if any of you are reading! :)

Morning mysore was rough today. I guess from sitting around in training all weekend I tightened up...My shoulders in Prasarita Padottanasana C were "as if someone had filled them with cement". Someone on Ashtangi.net said it that way once, and I liked it. I'm hoping to be a bit more limber tomorrow. Mary suggested to me last week that I drink more water to help with my stamina, and boy has it! It's interesting to me how we forget how essential water is...keeps us energized, allows us to detoxify, fights depression and anxiety, keeps our skin soft and supple, etc, etc, etc,... and I still lapse in drinking enough. My new mission is to carry a bottle with me everywhere :)

I'll write more soon, I'm swamped and want to fit in posts as often as I can, but they may be a wee shorter for a little while :)

Namaste.

Morning Mysore with Mary

Okay, I was skeptical at first about this whole early morning mysore thing...but I have to say I freaking love it. Granted, Wednesday was a moon day, and I've only been today and Tuesday, but I can't wait to get up in the morning and go tomorrow! I'm converted! I have a feeling that this will be cyclical, like all things in life, and I will go through phases where I don't want to get up so early every day. If I can just remember how much I love it now, that should carry me through the times I don't love it so much.

Mary Flinn is an amazing teacher. She doesn't leave room for slacking off, and is very helpful and compassionate. I am really enjoying learning from her. She has given me through Garba Pindasana, and says that it isn't really about the poses, she thinks they are there for me to continue, she says it is more about stamina.

I agree with her about that one. My stamina is lacking lately, between switching to morning practice, that month hiatus for my shoulder, and giving up meat (yes I've finally gone vegetarian), my body is going through some adjustments. I see progress though, so I am pleased.

Teacher training again this weekend! I'm about half way through...Crazy!

Hope all is well with you.

Nadi Shodana

A friend of mine was giving a workshop called "Intro to Second Series" and I decided it would be fun to check it out....boy was I right, and very wrong. First let me say that I do not think that I should be moving on to second any time soon, I was just curious. Then, I'd like to say that anyone practicing second should stop reading this and do something nice for themselves instead. Second series is no joke! I feel like a piece of chewed bubble gum today.

I'll start mysore in the mornings tomorrow. I told Mary at a party for her this weekend that I would be in her morning mysore classes, so that I couldn't back out. I hope I adjust to the new schedule quickly, I've never been a morning person, but I can't pass up the opportunity to study with her. Any advice on making the transition?

Ha!

I bound my hands in Supta Kurmasana by myself for the first time ever today! :) Hurrah....more to come....

For a Dear Friend

A close family friend, Lynda C Malone, passed away very recently from cancer. My husband has created an endowment in her name to donate to the American Institute for Cancer Research every year for the life of the fund, for years and years to come.

The website is http://www.lyndamalonefoundation.org . If you can spare it, please visit the site and help us honor her memory and the memories of those lost to cancer around the world.

Strength and Stamina

You know how sometimes you will have a practice where you begin to wonder if you are capable of practicing ashtanga yoga? Anyway, I hope you know. I'm still gaining speed from the month off I think. I can't for the life of me make it through an entire class without skipping vinyasas left and right. And my jumpbacks are excruciating. So much effort in each one that I poop out right around Mari A.

I realize that this is part of the journey, and I love that, I just feel so weak sometimes!

My last class with my mentor was last night. He has told us he is moving to a different studio downtown, so I could still see him every so often, which is good... The torch is being passed to Mary Flinn this weekend at a potluck dinner. Her first public class is Saturday, and I will go. I'm excited to have the chance to study with a teacher certified by guruji. And a different point of view is always helpful.

All the "cool kids" are going to the potluck, and some of them have even acknowledged my existence over the past few days. I hope that having some social interactions outside the studio will help us bond. Thanks for the enlightening comments about this situation, my perspective was a little narrow, and realizing that has made me feel better.

What am I, Like 15?

I feel silly writing about this, but it has bothered me for a little while now...

I'm sure that it happens in other lineages as well, but does anyone besides me ever get annoyed with the cliquishness of some groups of Ashtanga practitioners? I've also been getting a really bad vibe from some of the women in my classes ... a cattiness if you will...

Now I realize that adults act like teenagers everywhere, at work, school, in the grocery store, and even in yoga class, but I do feel like it is a little rampant with Ashtangis... wonder why...

It bothers me more than it should, I start wondering why they don't like me, and how I can get them to like me....then I realize I am being ridiculous and try to forget about it.
__________________

In other news, teacher training was good this weekend. We've transitioned from lecture type classes about yogic philosophy, literature, and history to teaching asana. Only four months to graduation. Crazy.

Also, I think that my mentor leaving is affecting me more than I thought... I had a dream the other night that I was so late that I missed his last class, and I was really upset. I guess I subconsciously feel that there is something I still want to learn from him before he goes.

Have a great Monday everyone.

I so got called out...

On my way to led primary tonight I realized that I was actually dreading practicing. It happens every once and a while, I just imagine all the asanas to come, and I want to start just to get it over with. So, I came up with an "awesome" plan, I would ask my teacher to assist so I wouldn't have to practice.

Here's the thing, when I came in and said "I was thinking I could assist instead of practicing tonight", he saw right through me and said aloud to the whole class "Sounds to me like someone just doesn't want to practice!"....How the eff did he know that! I got called out....and then something amazing happened, I had a wonderful practice. It may have been destined to be awesome either way, but I'll never know. Kurmasana with heels off the floor, binding to the wrist in all the Mari's (except D, don't be crazy! :)), and hands to floor in prasarita padottanasana C (okay, that was with an adjustment, but it was still the first time I've touched, help or no help).

This will keep me motivated for a while, you never know when that really great practice will be, so when the urge is there to skip it, don't.

In other news, teacher training is this weekend. And in just over a week, I'll begin a regular morning Mysore class with Mary Flinn! :) She is recognized by Guruji, and is going to be by far the most experienced teacher that I've studied with long term. I figure weekend workshops with David Swenson don't count. I'm really excited!

To all a good night!

Adjustments

I am learning to adjust practitioners from my mentor. It is so strange being the one giving the adjustments as opposed to receiving them. I have to say I am having a little anxiety about adjusting people. I know that I love them and will take them from anyone who knows what they are doing, but for some reason I am worried (projecting) that people will not think I'm "worthy" to adjust them. I guess since I am a new teacher?

Hmmm...tomorrow I will adjust the class that I normally practice in, I'll let you know how that goes...

Anusara: Nit-picking or Helpful Hints?

During teacher training I had a workshop today about teaching back-bends. I love back-bends, so I was really excited for this. It was taught by Christina Sell who studied with John Friend. She, not to mention the other teachers from the anusara tradition that I have had, is very very concerned with alignment and adjustments of every joint, and even the most subtle actions of those joints.

One the one hand I love breaking the movements and postures down to that level, on the other it sometimes seems kind of annoying. When I am trying to incorporate so many things at once, I often feel overwhelmed and lose focus in the posture...

Is it me being naive, or is it okay to sometimes just feel your way through an asana? To enjoy it and find what feels right?

Now, I don't mean to bad-mouth this class I had, despite what I've just said, I learned to open my upper back much more, which allowed much deeper back-bends in every posture we did. The techniques I learned will stick with me through the rest of my life. And I LOVE Christina, she is the most amazing teacher, super funny and friendly, and just the right amount of intensity plus compassion.

Just some random thoughts....

On another random note, I may have been offered a job replacing my mentor who is leaving the studio...weird....I'm not sure if anyone would take me seriously and want to learn from me when I have been practicing beside them, and I would all of a sudden be the instructor. I doubt I would react well to that....but maybe some people would !?

My schedule has really been getting in the way of a regular practice for the past (and probably future) few days. Not to mention a nasty head cold. Hard to do udjayi pranayama with so much mucus! Gross! Did I just say that? :) I hope to get back to it on Tuesday....

Here's hoping you are all feeling well and happy! Will post again super soon!

Dog Days

We took our boston to the vet today. He needed heartgard, and we found out he has an ear infection! It took four grown men to hold down my 20 pound dog to give him ear drops! I was embarrassed and proud all at the same time.

Went to the campus ashtanga class that I used to attend months ago. It was really nice to visit, but I was surprised what my practice used to be like. The room was air conditioned (70 degrees), with mirrors, and the primary series was extremely modified. We skipped about half the asanas! It is an intro course for college students, so I guess it really isn't that surprising, but it is strange for me to think about how much my practice has changed. I feel more "official" now, which really means nothing, but I think you know what I mean. Maybe more "traditional" would be a better way to describe it.

I've added a couple new pics on the side there, the state of the backbend, and Mari D :)

Slow and Steady

Ventured out in the cold (37 degrees) and rain this morning to go to led primary. Took it slow and easy...some strength coming back slowly. Plus I usually practice in the evening, so I cut myself some slack. It's funny how much more grateful I am for my practice having had to give it mostly up for a month.

My husband and I seem to be perpetual students....or maybe just perpetually stupid:)...we keep enrolling in long-term higher education programs, straining ourselves financially and for time. We are known as "the busiest couple" in our family. For a while I thought it was because we were forced into this situation, but then I realized that we are making conscious decisions to do this. I chose to enter a PhD program, and then chose to enter an intense 9 month yoga teacher training program at the same time. He chose to enter an MBA program in the evenings while working full time at a job.

I'm hoping we get this out of our systems after this round and just settle down and enjoy the fruits of our labor for a while. I feel like I am always striving for the next goal, swimming against the current as hard as I can. I'd like to let go, and float, let the current carry me for a while.

This is true in my Ashtanga practice as well. My teacher was saying today during final breathing that it is important to relax and remove some of the intensity in your practice. Otherwise you are just tightening up and impeding your progress. I love the idea of this, that as soon as you give in, let go, and relax, it comes. Going to meditate on that for a while. Make it my resolution during yoga nidra for a while.

I couldn't resist

So, after telling myself it would be okay to practice every other day while I get back up to speed with my practice....I practiced last night. That's two days in a row, no day in between...and I was super sore, and skipped almost all the vinyasas, put my legs up the wall during most of the closing sequence...and loved it. I'm thinking that doing a 50% practice every day or a 90% practice every other day is about the same thing :) Regardless, I've missed practice so much. I couldn't resist. I would say I'll take today off, but who knows.

Wait a Minute Mr. Postman

The Grant is gone...I sent it last night to Bethesda, Maryland. Hurray! I slept better last night than I have in almost a month.

That could have also been because I went to my first mysore style class in a month. It was only my second class practice back. I'm surprised how much strength and stamina I have lost over the break. I am sore in places that I haven't been sore in for almost a year. I can tell my body needs to rebuild. But don't think I am disappointed. I enjoyed that practice so much. I like having to slow down a bit and be mindful of every posture and every vinyasa.

I think I'll practice every other day for a while to work back into a daily practice. Slow and steady...

Back in the Swing of Things?

I went to led primary yesterday morning. I modified quite heavily to be safe, no jump-throughs or backs, no arm balances, I refrained from sweeping my arms over my head, etc. It was a really really nice practice. It felt sooo good to be back in the group.

Today, the arm feels fine, which makes sense because of all of the modifications, but I am super duper sore today. It was weird because during practice, I was extra bendy, even though I thought for sure I wasn't going to be able to touch my toes. I hadn't practiced in three weeks! But, I was laying on my legs in all the seated forward bends, my head was touching my shins in uttanasana...and today my muscles are wrecked. It didn't feel like a ton of effort at the time, but I am more sore than I have been in a long time. I sorta love it though, it reminds me that I am finally practicing again. I'm a sicko, what can I say :)

I've been continuing to observe/assist with my mentors classes. That is such a nice experience. He teaches ashtanga, hatha, and hatha flow, so I've gotten to see a lot of different types of classes. Tomorrow night I'm going to go observe a beginner's series. I'm really excited about that because the people who attend my mentor's classes seem to be fairly advanced, and I feel like I'll learn more teaching/observing beginners. I'll blog about that tomorrow!

Until then you little sweeties!

Singing in the rain

A large storm has blown into texas. I am at home with my pup listening to the rain falling. I'm hoping all this rain may wash some of the pollen away, as my allergies are crazy today!

Later today I am going to present my research to some students my program is recruiting. That is really fun, in a nostalgic sort of way. I love to remember going on interviews and visiting the university, and it is fun to think that I am now showing off this university to prospective students, as the cycle continues.

I've been observing a lot of classes instead of practicing. This has been really eye opening. As a student practicing in the class, it is difficult for me to see the entire picture sometimes. To step back and watch the whole class practice is really nice. I get to see the adjustments as the teach gives them, I get to see how people adjust themselves, and the breathing and energy is very comforting. I'd like to hang out there all day!

I think I may try to get back into the swing of asana practice myself tomorrow morning. We'll see about that...don't want to awaken the sleeping giant in my shoulder!

I've been thinking a lot about being good, kind, and forgiving with one's self lately. I really think that too often, we are judgemental of each other, but even more so of ourselves. We are very hard on ourselves! I'm trying to cut myself a break lately, and I like it :) I'm doing the best that I can in my life, and that feels really good.

Farewell Tele

My husband and I have decided to get rid of television....oooooooooh I'm scared! And strangely excited! It is one of those things that I've known we should do for long time, but have not had the will power to do. I mentioned the other day to my hubby that I have been considering it, I think in a way to get him to push me to agree to do it. He has always felt it was bad, a distraction, etc....but I grew up with the t.v. on non-stop. This will take some adjusting to, but it is already cool because I feel like I have so much more time in the evening. Funny.

I'm going to start practicing full primary again soon, the tendons seem to have calmed down finally...they were angry little fellas for a while there, I wonder how it will be going back after three weeks off? I'm worried I will have lost a ton of strength, flexibility, and stamina. How has everybody else done after breaks like this?

Observing

Teacher training all weekend this past weekend, 10 hours both days. Classes included: Pranayama: breath and ratio, Pranayama: breath and movement, Deepening in meditation, Sensory systems, Sun Salutations, & Basic Yogic Philosophy. Now that we are about 1/3 of the way through this journey together, we are all starting to get close. It feels kind of like summer camp:)

Tonight I observed my first Ashtanga class with my mentor. I have to say it was a truly inspiring experience. Thank you to everyone who practices Ashtanga for being such an inspiration. Watching a group of people practice in synchrony was beautiful to behold. So many different bodies, so many different versions of the same posture, all beautiful.



Om.
vande gurunam charanaravinde
sandarsita svatmasukhava bodhe
nihsreyase jangalikayamane
samsara halahala mohasantyai

abahu purusakaram
sankhacakrasi dharinam
sahasra sirasam svetam
pranamami patanjalim
Om

Sending thoughts and prayers to Guruji. Namaste.

Can't....keep....my.....eyes.....open....

So tired today....good grief...My grant is in the hands of my boss for his input. That's the good news. The bad news is that I'm exhausted and the editing after his comments will be as much if not more work than writing this draft.

On the flip side, the arm is finally starting to slowly improve. I was beginning to wonder if it was ever going to heal. Even though only time will tell how it will perform in the long run, I'm feeling optimistic :)

This weekend is teacher training. Two ten hour days of yoga! I'm excited even though I know I'll be hating life without my weekend off.

Oh, and my husband apparently reads my blog more often than I thought. Last night he used it as leverage. He wanted me to walk him through some asana, and I was pooped. Then he said, "I'm going to post on your blog and tell on you if you don't" :) Guess I beat him to the punch by telling on myself, but I thought it was super cute that he was jonesing for some asana! His surya namaskar are starting to look really good, his body seems more lubricated like he has kicked off some of the dust from not stretching and moving much. Hurray!

Hmph....that's me pouting :)

I've resigned to the fact that I need to take a couple weeks off from practice. Well, any part of asana that involves my right arm anyway. I won't complain more about my shoulder after this post, that's enough....but the update is that I will take the next week or two off, I plan to spend much more time reading, meditating, and practicing yoga nidra.

Moving on, my husband is almost able to touch his toes now, after many nights of forward bends! He emailed me from work to say he was waiting by the printer and decided to stretch a bit, and was surprised at how "bendy" he felt. Fun! Unfortunately, I've been a sore sport about not being able to practice asana myself, and have not been teaching him as often...going to get back on track tonight!

I had a thought yesterday about how my two value systems that I adhere to are at odds and very polarized. It all started when my husband bought a new car. He really needed one, his old car was threatening to lose its right front wheel while in motion and was worth less than the cost of repairs. He bought a brand new Jetta. It is beautiful, I started thinking about how I can't wait to get my PhD and get paid a real salary, so I can buy a new car! The thing is, I have a great car already, bought it new three years ago to take me through graduate school. It still looks and drives like it is new....

I realized that my yogic view on the world makes me want to renounce material possessions, but there is a large part of me that loves luxury! Finding a balance is quite interesting! I feel guilty for wanting things I don't "need", things I only "want". The other part of me feels that it may be damn near impossible to escape the material mindset in the united states, where everywhere you look it is all about excess...My two minds are duking it out in there, Who will win out? Only time will tell...probably neither :)

What to do...

Ah bicep tendonitis...any advice on how to "rest" the proximal bicep tendon AND practice Ashtanga? :) OR, any one else experienced bicep tendonitis? I'd love to hear your story.

Also, what do people think about injuries in general? Is it best to practice through them, modifying, or is it best to wait until you are sure you are totally healed to return to asana?

I'm debating about whether to go to led class in the morning, the shoulder is not up to par, maybe going and skipping vinyasas is the way to go. The safe way to go would be to wait, I spent 20 something years not practicing, I don't think another week or so would kill me ! Oh, but I do miss the energy of the class.

Happy Weekend Everyone ! :)

What a difference a day makes

Here is that more positive entry that I was hoping to be able to write today!

I think my favorite lesson that yoga has taught me is that unhappiness comes from searching for permanence in a world of impermanence. I have accepted that the tides of change are a force beyond control, and that is so comforting when things are not going so well. I really have started to count on and believe in the fact that no matter how sad, tired, down, hopeless, etc that I may feel in any one moment, that the next moment will be different.

Interestingly, finding comfort in the impermanence is actually just accepting the permanence of impermanence....love it.

Not to say that I don't live in each passing moment. Paradoxically, that has become second nature to me as well as a result of my practice. Knowing that the next moment will be different allows me to be present in the current one without anxiety, and to really sink into it and experience it while I have it. For example, when my hamstrings are burning in a forward bend I try to really experience it, knowing that it will pass soon.

I guess what it all boils down to is that practicing yoga makes me more comfortable in my own skin and allows me to relax and take things in stride.

My shoulder pain is down to a dull ache, and I seem to have full range of motion again. I did a mini-practice in my bedroom this afternoon and plan to start with led classes on Saturday and mysore on Sunday.

Insult to Injury: Part Deux

WARNING: this post is full of me whining...in continuing to read it, the reader waives any right to pick on me or my post.

The day after my last post, my right shoulder stiffened up and became racked with pain...I went to the doctor yesterday, and she tugged on my arm in all different directions and gave me the news: " proximal bicep tendonitis".

It has been improving a lot, every day I wake up and it feels leaps and bounds better than the day before, but no yoga for three days now... Well, that isn't entirely true, no vinyasas, chatarangas, arms in the air (as I can't bring my right one over my head), weight on my arms, etc...you get the picture, pretty much just forward bends with my hands on my waist.

I have enjoyed the break from practice; I think my recent rash of injuries indicates I'm pushing too hard. It has also given me time to think about that very issue. Have I been pushing too hard in the shala, or too hard in the rest of my life so there isn't anything left for the shala?

For example, I am a very busy graduate student, my research is freaking stressful (as most of our jobs are I'm sure), and I have an extremely unsupportive boss ( who even made me cry hysterically today ). Combine that with Austin traffic, writing a federal grant (for the second time as it was rejected the first time, so really re-writing it), feeling the pinch in the financial department (remember I'm a grad student), and ashtanga injury after injury. I've run out of internal strength and joy as well as the energy to regenerate it.

No purpose really to writing all this down, except to stop it from rolling around in my head. I look forward to tomorrow and to writing a more positive entry.

Insult to Injury

So mysore class was crazy yesterday. I wasn't feeling connected to my practice, and as a result I think I was sloppy...halfway through I was jumping through and my toenail sliced open my right wrist! Then I had some odd emotional reaction to the blood/injury! Usually I'm not such a weenie! I had to leave the room, sit down (the room was getting dark and my head was spinning), sip water, and collect myself. Anyone else had a strange emotional experience during practice?

I did go back in and finish which I was happy I did, and when I told the teach about my experience he said, (and I quote) "Blood, sweat, and tears of Ashtanga". That got me thinking... There seems to be at least two camps of Ashtangis...those that sacrifice and are proud of their blood, sweat, and tears....and those that feel that those elements are a little to harsh (maybe not the sweat). I am from the latter camp. I don't want to feel blood and tears are necessary to practice this form of yoga....and I don't plan to teach my students that they are.

Weight! I have issues...

So, ugh, lately I have been thinking about my weight...I thought I had managed to escape a few of my body issues, but I made the mistake of weighing myself recently, and the number surprised me, a lot...Then today I read Yoga Chickie's post about losing weight to make Supta K easier...ewe, then I started thinking I should make an effort to lose some weight to see if that's true...It's been months since I thought I looked "fat", and I doubt much has changed with my body over the last 24 hours, but my mental outlook sure has...hate it...need....to....resist...the urge to....judge...myself...ugh

Today will be mysore with the teach...I'm excited about it, and hope that I can leave my mind at the door. I would love to have a practice today where I listen to my body and let it guide me through, so that I can be in a more contemplative and meditative state, rather than a competitive one :)

Disconnected

Today my cable/internet went down for around 4 hours. I had decided to stay home to work on a grant I am writing (which I need the internet for...). I was really surprised how weird I felt without having access to the internet or having the television on. I got so uncomfortable that I left the house to go shopping for a little while. I've actually been toying with getting rid of television lately, and this is just more fuel for the fire, maybe I'll be making that plunge sooner than later...maybe an experimental trial run is in order.

Also, another experiment I would like to try is to stop blogging about progress with asanas, which ones I bound in, whether or not I did a headstand, etc. (as this really isn't the point of my practice) and start blogging more about my spiritual journey, teacher training, and meditation. In the spirit of this, I have been wanting to increase the amount of time I spend meditating. My current techniques include body scanning/mindfulness and concentrating on the retentions between breaths. Anyone have a technique that has been successful for them?

Drill Sergeant

Went to an evening class last night at northwest...I felt extra bendy for some reason, I love those days. The class had a lot more new folks than usual, so the teach spent some time giving us drills to do to work on jumping through. That was really nice, because when new students aren't there we don't get much in the way of explanation.

Anyway he gave us this one drill that was really helpful for jumping through with knees crossed. You sit as you would when you first come through with your knees crossed and the top edges of your feet on the ground, ankles crossed. Your arms are straight by your hips, you then lift your hips up and support yourself on your hands and the edges of your feet. It's great to build strength in the places you use to pull yourself through and lower. Needless to say, my arms are sore in new places.

EARLY morning mysore:)

First, apparently I had not authorized anonymous comments on this blog! It must have been a default setting, and it has been rectified! Comment away all you anonymous folks!

I went to the south location this morning for a 6 am mysore class. While it is nice to be home at 5pm and have the whole evening free, I think I am going to spend it napping because I am wiped! My friend assures me that you adjust to it, but geez today was tough...

Class was really good though, there were only 4 of us, so I was able to get help with a lot of postures, and fine tune a lot of them, too!

Afternoon Mysore

Today was one of my favorite classes. A 4:30 pm mysore style class with the teach. I arrived about 25 minutes early and completed up to balancing postures before he arrived. Only adjustment today was in Supta K. I was finished with my 5 breaths struggling to even touch my hands, and just as I was exiting, he was jogging over to adjust me...a quick "uh uh" from him and back into the posture I went. Today he bound my hands, then tilted me up by my ankles and began to bring them behind my head....can't wait to get this! Just a taste of it was so exciting! Any advice on it would be greatly appreciated!!! (Yoga Chickie, if you are reading this, I know you just recently got this pose, any thoughts? :) )

Another day teaching the hubby too! We did a few surya namaskar A, dandasana, uttanasana, adho mukha svanasana, and shavasana with yoga nidra. I'm loving sharing that time with him!

Tomorrow morning I am going to a 6:30 am class that I promised a friend of mine I'd go to at the South location. I'm excited because I like the teacher (M) a lot, despite the painful adjustment he gave me yesterday! I'm so glad that with every day comes another practice.

"Owee!" when he adjusted me

I decided to practice this morning despite the moon day. I have been on ladies holiday for a couple days and was itching to get to my mat! Not surprisingly I was tight and stiff from my break. During paschimottanasana C my back was rounding more than lengthening, and M came over to adjust me, and the extra weight on my back took my hammys to the limit!!! I tapped out with a moan. I have been blessed to have relatively loose hamstrings most of the time, and most of the time adjustments like these feel soooo good! Not today. Just goes to show you how every practice is different.

I did manage to include sirsasana in my practice today. Usually I am too beat to lift my legs off the floor. I'm hoping this is a sign that my stamina is coming along.

I was hanging out after class with the instructor and some friends, and I realized how much I love being a part of the yoga community. I feel so lucky to have taken this particular path in my life.

Yoga is Contagious

My husband has finally given in and allowed me to give him private yoga instruction :)
Tonight was the second evening where we went through sun salutes and we added a couple standing postures. It's a good opportunity for me to practice teaching, and it is so nice to bring yoga to someone I love so much.

Out of Nowhere!

I love it when you actually manage to go into practice with no expectations for it. Your cup of tea is empty waiting to be filled for once. Then as a reward, the most wonderful thing happens, a practice that you would have never been able to expect anyway.

Today's practice was rare, I managed to have a one-pointed, even meditative mind, and kept my breath on and rolling the whole time. I finished feeling larger than my physical body, buzzin with prana, and blissfully happy...

Did I jumpback correctly, No...Did I manage to exit Supta K into Tittibasana? Almost....Did I care about that? Not at all :) What a wonderful gift we have been given in Ashtanga Yoga.

A taste of the old days...

Last night I went, *gasp*, shopping! I haven't been shopping purely for recreation in months! I also got to hang out with one of my very best friends that I have been neglecting as a result of my practicing and training all the time...luckily she is a pharmacist with a serious boyfriend and is almost as insanely busy as I am! Anyway, we went out shopping for clothes, and while I did buy some yoga gear, I even managed to buy some work clothing as well. It was really nice to take a day off and see her. It's funny how special spending quality time with close friends becomes as you get older and commit yourself in more and more directions. It makes every visit a special occasion, which is kind of nice.

Tonight I plan to go to led primary. Right now I have to go to the same teacher every class, as I have to fill so many hours practicing with my mentor for my teacher training. I'm looking forward to finishing those so that I can branch out to new times and teachers...freshen things up a bit. Also I chose my mentor based on convenience, as he teaches in the evenings after work at the studio right near my house, and I'm craving some other teachers with different teaching styles.

It's interesting that this teaching program is nine months long. At first that turned me off a bit, as other programs are much shorter, but now I am really glad. It is an awful lot of material, and it is great to have time to let it sink in and notice how it applies to my life and the world around me. I'm loving this process, and feel a great transformation is beginning.

Early Morn Mysore with David Swenson

Okay, so I know this is a little illegal, but I usually practice (led and mysore classes) in the late afternoon/evening....So waking up at 6 this morning to go to David Swenson's mysore class was a little unnerving...I was extremely worried about being to stiff and sleepy to practice.

Turns out, it went really well, and it was really nice to have the whole day ahead of me after practice. I was a little sore for the rest of the morning, but I felt so much more relaxed and healthy for the rest of the day.

The class was really fun, David brought his wife Shelly, and they co-taught the class. I felt like I was adjusted at least every other posture! Mari D was a challenge, I'm thinking because of the time of day, and Supta K was damn near impossible, even with Shelly pulling my hands together. I loved the experience, and it made me realize how much I crave to study with an advanced, experienced teacher....

Teacher Training Marathon!

Not literally running for 26 miles marathon, but 10 hours of training felt like a marathon session to me! Awesome classes! Today was "Musculoskeletal System", "Foundation and Alignment", and "Yogic Diet and Nutrition". Tomorrow it starts all over again! Only 6 hours tomorrow because I've rescheduled the morning class to attend David Swenson's Mysore class. At any rate, it will be another day full of yoga.

Anyway, I'm wrecked, so I'm off to eat dinner!

Purification

I decided to practice yesterday despite my sore throat. I think it was a very good decision because from after my practice on, I have felt 100% better. Score is one for detoxification, and zero for conserving energy! I even managed to lift in Setu Bandhasana with my arms crossed over my chest, which is a first for me.

My backbends are starting to feel much more comfy. I really feel like I am stretching out the muscles along the front of my body and lengthening my back. I think I owe it all to NOT bringing my knees into my chest in between! Glad I figured that one out.

Today, I'm hoping to skip out of work one hour early to go to a led full primary. I don't like to leave work early, but we have a dear friend coming in from NC tomorrow, and a lot of cleaning needs to be done in preparation...and then I won't practice again until Sunday morning.

Sunday morning will be Mysore style with David Swenson. I can't wait!

To practice or not to practice, that is the question

So, I woke up with a sore throat this morning and the glands under my chin are swollen. I remember reading on a blog somewhere that Sharath suggests you practice everyday, unless you have a fever, which I don't. I don't want to get anyone else sick, if I am in fact brewing up something in this throat of mine, so practice could be mysore style at home...but my question is, should I practice at all?

I'm of two minds, the first is that I could use the detoxification. The other is that I may need to conserve my energy....but I am usually more energetic after practicing anyway....so there is my conundrum...

I wish today was a moon day...

so that I didn't feel so guilty for not going to practice tonight. But, I'm pooped and I've decided to invest the evening in reading the Hatha Yoga Pradipika and cuddling my boston terrier puppy!
Maybe even with a glass of red wine!

Tomorrow will be a mysore class, which I like more than led classes anyway. I always feel like I make more progress in the mysore classes, which makes sense being able to go more slowly and/or deeper if I so choose. Plus more personal time and adjustments with the teach are nice.

I'm finding that practicing kurmasana and supta kurmasana are making my hips sore on the outer edges, I guess it's from stretching them in this new way, feels really nice actually. I love how an ashtanga practice (and the body practicing it) are always changing. I love to feel parts of the body open up, and other parts solidify and strengthen. And most of all I love the thought of all the changes I have yet to undergo.

Too much attention....or not?

Today's practice was pretty good. I was a wee fatigued from yesterday's mysore style class, but it is always nice to be a part of the collective breath and energy in a led class of 45! Still loving the rug, it feels really good to lay down on in savasana, and I found myself scratching my back on it by wiggling when coming down from each urdhva dhanurasana! Felt so good!

Interestingly, the teach came over to me in almost every single posture and corrected something...whether it be foot placement in a standing posture, placing my heels together in navasana, binding lower around my thighs in pindasana, etc...I felt like I could do no right. And I know my practice hasn't changed that much from yesterday!

So, I'm hoping that he feels we have built enough of a student teacher relationship to adjust me often. Either that or he is too tired of all my many mistakes to let any slide by! We'll see tomorrow! Either way, It was nice to have all the help, I feel silly when I find out I have been doing something wrong for so many months, if someone had just mentioned it sooner, I would have corrected it.

Bound well in everything but Supta K today, and still no headstand, but I could feel the teach eyeballing me, it is only a matter of time before he comes over and tells me to come up.

My jumpback is almost there, I can feel it coming. I am so close to connecting the tipping back with the shooting out my legs into chataranga. Don't worry, you will be the first to know if and when it happens:)

The New Rug Rocks

So, I went to a Mysore class today with the new rug, and I love it! I covered the top of my mat with the end of the rug during surya namaskar, which gave a nice shelf for my hands to rest on, no slipping for the first time! Then, I unrolled it right before Dandasana. It worked out beautifully! YAY!

Practice today was one of those few and far between that just feel so right. My jump-throughs were controlled, and while I wasn't jumping back in one motion, it was much smoother, and I could feel the elements coming together. I have faith that I will be able to do it! I will, I will! :)

Bound hands on both sides in all the Mari's, even bound hands in Supta K! with a little tug from the teach of course. Still no headstand, I'm so exhausted by the end of practice, that I'm just taking my hips above my head, and lifting my toes off the ground here and there by shifting my hips back. I've decided I won't allow myself to go into full asana until I can lift both legs straight up from that point.

Can't wait for tomorrow, a led full primary. With my new rug!

The rug came....and went

I received my first cotton rug. I was extremely disappointed in it....It was from a very popular yoga supply place that represents itself as being quality...I won't name any names...but this rug was loosely woven and floppy, more like a blanket than a rug, and it was shedding lint everywhere!

I've sent it back, and acquired a rug I am very happy with! So, my first practice with my newest rug will be today. I'm thinking I'll do my surya namaskar and standing sequence without it, and then roll it out right before dandasana. Usually the only part that slips during any of this are my hands in downward dog...so we'll see ! :)

I just finished reading "Tree of Yoga" by BKS Iyengar...I felt like it was very informative, despite feeling like his stream of consciousness on paper! His anecdotes speak a lot to his personality, which seems to be playful but strict. I do like the analogy of the limbs of yoga as a tree, and it is helpful to me to organize them in this way.

Reading this text, along with the Sutras, the Gita, and the Pradipika, has brought up a lot of questions for me. It seems like these texts are all encouraging us to still the mind and leave the ego part of our intelligence behind, but I feel like by reading these texts I am trying to use precisely these elements of myself to navigate my way through yoga...I realize that this is because I am a green yoga student (as I'm hearing we all are for years and years)...but I am having real trouble finding another way to navigate. My instincts tell me to analyze, intellectualize, think my way through it, but that is taking me farther and farther away.

My plan for the foreseeable future is to press on, practice daily, keep reading and surrounding myself with strong teachers. OH, and of course to share it all in this blog for anyone who will read it! :)

Stuck like Glue

So, I haven't been able to practice for two days...and I can tell that I am more attached to my practice than I should be. It seems like a bit of a catch 22. Asana, and the seven other limbs, should be practiced dilligently, but you aren't supposed to be attached to practicing them. I haven't quite figured out how to do that. All I can think about is going to class tonight. Well, that is for two reasons, the fact that I haven't practiced lately, and the fact that I finally ordered a cotton rug from Hugger Mugger. I'm actually awaiting UPS right now!

I'm really looking forward to practicing with a cotton rug, right now I'm using Yogitoes, but I'm not entirely happy with it. It's a little to slippery before it gets damp, and even when damp it gets crumpled on my mat after several jumpthroughs. I know that the stronger I get and the smoother my transitions, the less it would move around. Some of the more advanced students use Yogitoes and they don't wrinkle at all! I'm still hoping the denser cotton rug will stay put.

While writing this post, I just had the most odd sense of Deja vu. I wonder what causes Deja vu, and if any gurus or yogic literature have explained this phenomenon. Hmm....